Tell Good Stories…..

I was sitting at my desk, the neon “O T E L” sign flashing like a bug zapper on a hot summer night when the phone rang.

It was a dame, and she was bent out of shape like an old paperclip.

“Johnny, I’ve got a big problem on my hands.”  Not knowing who Johnny was, I listened intently. “Anyway Johnny, I’ve gotten mixed up in a dangerous world, and I’m worried”

Guns? Imports/Exports? Murder?

“No worse, Johnny, much worse - Politics”

I took a shot, and poured myself another.

“I’m running for President, and I’ve gotten myself into quite a mess.  Seems I misspoke, and they had video, and Johnny, I just don’t know what to do.”

I was on my last handkerchief, and I wasn’t gonna waste it on this blubbering dame.  Time for another shot.

“Johnny, I need you to find me some snipers.  I’ve got campaign stops all this week - surely you can do something for me?  Firecrackers, then?  Please?  I’m desperate, Johnny.  I owe my supporters some snipers.”

I told the dame to hit the bricks as I poured my last shot of the morning - murder’s not my game.  Not today anyway, and not for this broad.  It was time for lunch.